"Hitting The Pavement"

The other day, my boyfriend and I were able to get away for the weekend. 

We went up to Lake Placid NY and stayed with my dad and step-mom at the Whiteface Lodge, a vacation condo my Dad gets every 6 weeks for a week.

It was a beautiful day out. One of the nicest days we’ve had in a long time. 80 degrees, blue skies and a nice breeze. It was definitely a dress and heels day. I was excited I had somewhere “fancy” to wear my heels and the weather certainly complied.I was excited to get out of the house and have an amazing weekend. I was hoping to get some sun at the pool, eat some yummy dinner and then go sit out and stare at the view.

The Whiteface Lodge is one of my favorite places in the world to be. It smells like a pine tree 24/7 and its dream like when it gets dark. The trees are decked out in lights and the whole place glows. There are campfires at night and a heated pool. Our room has a kitchen, two bathrooms, and they give you cookies at your door every night. Basically it’s “luxury camping.”

We all went out to dinner. My dad and I got pot roast and it was filling and delicious. The sun was setting on the lake and from where we were sitting in the restaurant, we had the perfect picture.

After dinner, we stopped at the grocery store to get some beer and wine. Between my father’s bad hip and my high heels, we walked pretty slowly through the store but we got what we needed. Slowly but surely. Besides being a little uneasy on the floor mats and a little sluggish on the stairs, it was fine. I knew I looked good, so walking came second.

When we got back to the lodge, we dropped my dad and step-mom off at the entrance and drove down the steep hill to the parking lot. We had to walk back up and we decided to go the long way. It was beautiful out and now that the sun was down it was more comfortable and less sweaty.

We walked up the hill and joked about how full we were and how we’d have some beers and then go to the hot tub. Jake was walking ahead of me, complaining how I walk slowly in heels.

“Practice makes perfect!” I yelled up to him.

The next thing I know, I was down on the pavement. It happened so fast that I didn’t have time to react. Jake spun around and ran back to me. I squatted on the ground and looked down at my knee, which was throbbing. Blood ran down my left leg. My right ankle was pulsing with pain. My hands were scraped from the pavement and tears streamed down my face.

Jake rubbed my back and found the rock I had stepped on, and teetered on, and threw it forcefully into the woods. The nicest guy I know, angry at an inanimate rock.

I was embarrassed. I thought I could walk in these shoes and suddenly I had blood on my knee, a huge scrape and a twisted ankle. I didn’t want to face my dad and step-mom and Jake just saw me go from sexy to crying and bleeding in about 3 seconds. I was humiliated. I have a shoe blog and I can’t even walk in my own shoes. I tell other people to “take a walk in my shoes,” well prepare for a wipe out.

I thought of all the stories I could tell my dad and step-mom besides simply tripping over a rock. Oh..you, know..a squirrel just went at it on my knee, it was crazy. Yeah this lady just pushed me out of the way and I went down, guess she was in a hurry for the pool. Hmm, don’t think they would’ve bought it.

Jake brought me to the front desk and I limped behind him. We got band aids and Neosporin. I held his hand and we shuffled down the long hallway. I sniffled and tears kept escaping out the corner of my eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was the pain or the embarrassment, or both.

We got back to the room and I went straight to the bathroom, ripped off my heels and applied the ointment and band-aids and refused to come out. Jake texted me from the living room as he tried to explain the situation to my dad. I didn’t feel like coming out and hearing them say that I shouldn’t wear shoes like that and that I didn’t know how to walk in them.

When I finally wiped my tears and decided to face the music I came out. I was surprised to find that I received hugs, ice, a glass of wine and a warmed up cookie. I guess I didn’t give them enough credit.

Jake and I eventually ventured up to the hot tub. I submerged my scraped up knee and screamed when the chlorine burned. Jake and I laughed it off and I forgot about my embarrassment, my bloody knee and my twisted ankle. A hot tub and a few laughs really help you heal faster. I even eventually went back into that bathroom, picked my heels up and put them back on. If there's anything I've learned from horseback riding it's that you need to get right back on the horse when you fall off. Same goes for shoes. 

Now I don’t want to get too specific, but I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal things since being home for the summer. I’ve been doubting myself a lot lately. Doubting that I can handle it. I’m trying to get through but sometimes I fall down. Sometimes I doubt myself and I lose balance and BOOM I’ve hit the pavement.

I came to terms with the fact that we all fall down sometimes. Literally and figuratively. And yeah, it’s embarrassing and yeah, I thought I was done with scraped knees after I stopped riding my bike five years ago. We can’t all walk perfectly all the time and sometimes there’s going to be a little factor, a small little rock, a small little comment, a small little insecurity, and we fall down. Hard. But we get up and whether we have someone helping us up or we muster up the strength ourselves, we get there and we can look back and say, “that’s where I fell, but look at me now.”

Today my knee is purple and scabbed over, just the in time for the summer where more skin is exposed than ever. But my knee is healing slowly, and I guess I am too.