"Birthday Shoes"

My 21^st birthday is coming up in about a week and although I’m not a huge fan of celebrating birthdays I’m actually excited for it. 

Obviously, I’m turning 21 so I’ll be legal to drink, but I’m also getting the tattoo I want finally. My best friend Shevawn, mom and step-mom are all coming to visit me within the next two weeks to help me celebrate. And I’m finally feeling happier than I have in a long time.

A big reason I’m not crazy about my birthday is because I’ve always felt awkward receiving gifts. I’m not sure how to act. What do I say? What if I don’t express well enough how thankful I am? What if I can’t really use it? How long do I have to keep it until it’s acceptable to throw away?

Christmas is different because I’m receiving gifts but I’m also giving them too. On my birthday everyone gives me gifts and it feels strange and uncomfortable to me.

I never know what to say when someone asks me what I want. What do I want?

Don’t get me wrong, I love thoughtful gifts…I’ve just gotten extremely good at awkwardly receiving them.

I’m pretty sure my parents are aware of this because for the last few birthdays they usually just let me pick things out and then they buy them while I stand behind them asking if they’re sure and repeatedly thanking them.

I’ve always been stingy with my money since I was a kid. I wouldn’t buy something unless I was in love with it (or it was MAJORLY on sale and too good to pass up). I’m not called the “bargain queen” for nothing! I think my Mom knew I was majorly cheap at a very young age. I was always more attracted to the clearance section of the store.

I’ve never been one for expensive brands or designer labels. If it looks good, feels good and is a good price it’s alright with me. That’s exactly how I am with shoes. I don’t discriminate against people who like designer labels but I just don’t see the point. I mean what sounds better…buying one pair of shoes for 500$ or buying 3 pairs of shoes for 100$? No one can see a shoe label when your feet are it anyway.

My boyfriend, Jake, took me to the Syracuse mall yesterday determined to buy me shoes for my birthday. He told me I could wear them “out” when I turn 21. He’s not exactly a women’s shoe stylist so of course, it was my job to pick them out.

“You can get any shoes babe, seriously. Any price,” he told me.

Then I just whined a lot about how he doesn’t have to do this and how I feel guilty, to which he kindly told me to just “shut up and accept the fact that he’s buying me shoes.” I know he’s tight on money and I’ve always been extremely independent. I’ve always paid for myself and before him I had never really been with a guy that wanted to pay for me.

He convinced me that he wanted to buy me shoes for my birthday.

My love of shoes overcame my dislike of receiving gifts.

“Are you just buying me these shoes so that I write a blog about you?” I asked him as we drove to the mall.

“No, I just know you love shoes, but you’ll probably write about it anyway.”

I hate when he’s right.

We don’t like buying each other gifts. He knows I’m uncomfortable with it and he is too. I pinky promise him every Valentine’s Day that I’m not just saying that I don’t want anything, and it’s not some girl code tricky game I’m playing, I just literally don’t want anything.

We got to the mall and we went to pretty much every shoe store. The first place we went in was Famous Footwear and I found these shoes.

I was strangely attracted to them. They’re not something I’d usually pick up but I tried them on regardless.

“What do you think?”

“I think you look really tall,” he laughed. “But they’re kind of badass.”

Jake knows “badass” is a word I’ve been addicted to lately. My new tribal owl tattoo is going to be “badass” and my new leather jacket is “badass” and my new outlook on life is “badass.”

These shoes are basically awesome. Not only am I about 5 inches taller in them, I walk more easily in them than other heels I own and I feel so sexy. The chunky heel is an amazing invention. Why did it take me so long to realize that stiletto heels are like toothpicks waiting to be snapped? The thick platform helps out a lot too. I’ve never had a more comfortable pair of heels. I’ve also never had a more expensive pair of heels since most of my heels were on clearance. Don’t get me wrong…the price of these shoes was slashed $20 dollars from the original price…which may have been part of what attracted me to them. Don’t you know me at all?

The three different colors go with anything. They’re all basic colors: black, nude and cream. They complement each other without clashing.

I fell in love with these shoes immediately and although they were a reasonable price, I still felt guilty about him buying them for me. I freaked out for a while, put them on hold, went to seven other shoe stores and then was convinced they were the ones I wanted when I found the same ones at a different shoe store and tried them on again.

When you love something you just know. It reminded me of when I fell in love with Jake, which happened when I was about eight years old. I did, however, I wait around for ten years to ever do anything about it. Now we’ve been together for three years and it feels like a worn in pair of shoes that never go out of style.